Divorce can be a very emotional process. Even people who cooperate with their spouses during divorce may have a difficult time adjusting to their new circumstances following the end of a marriage. In cases that involve high levels of conflict, divorce can become substantially more difficult to navigate. Certain factors, including the mental health issues of one spouse, can potentially make divorce much more difficult.
Narcissism is a personality trait, while narcissistic personality disorder is a serious mental health issue diagnosed by professionals. People can display narcissistic behavioral traits without necessarily meeting the diagnostic criteria for a personality disorder. Even those who might have a diagnosable condition may be careful in how they present themselves around medical professionals to avoid a diagnosis.
Narcissism relates to a pathological desire to control how others perceive the narcissistic individual. Those intending to divorce a narcissist may need help preparing for a difficult process ahead. What can people anticipate when ending a relationship with a narcissist?
Damage control mode
Narcissists generally resent any actions or statements that could impugn their character and damage their reputations. Divorce has the possibility of affecting their other relationships and how people perceive them.
As such, narcissistic individuals expecting to divorce may start creating an alternate version of events where they paint the other spouse as abusive, unfaithful, manipulative or even addicted. They may reach out not just to their own social circle but to those who are close with their spouses who may believe what the other spouse eventually says about the marriage.
People intending to divorce narcissists may need to warn their loved ones about the possibility of a campaign of misinformation intended to damage their reputation and relationships. They also need to prepare for the possibility of some people falling for that campaign of misinformation.
Attempts to game the process
Narcissists frequently view themselves as smarter than other people and above the law. As such, they often engage in underhanded tactics when facing legal issues and other interpersonal conflicts.
Narcissists might refuse to disclose or intentionally alter financial records that influence divorce negotiations or litigation. They may learn about the law, hire a very aggressive lawyer and try to use the legal system as a means of controlling or abusing their spouse.
People intending to divorce narcissists often need to prepare quietly without warning their spouses ahead of time. They can gather evidence, connect with resources and prepare their inner circle for the upcoming divorce before they ever discuss the issue with their spouse.
People who worry about a narcissistic spouse becoming violent in response to a divorce filing may need to make advance arrangements to leave the marital home or pursue a restraining order to limit abusive contact during the divorce.
Having proper legal assistance makes it easier for people to protect themselves emotionally and legally in difficult divorce scenarios involving a narcissist. Those with the right resources and proper preparation can exit an unhealthy relationship with minimal collateral damage.